Death by Cucumber
It used to be an useless addition to the summer salad and a must have for any respectable pornstar. Now it even has Ratko Mladic calling the local farmer to extend his arsenal. It is the mean green machine, The Cucumber. Coming out of nowhere it is now threatening the whole of northwestern Europe. Our friend E.coli is back and injected with some killersperm, EHEC. Everyone is turning green and yellow of fear of the green threat. Since nobody likes eating vegetables, countries are starting to ban tomatoes and lettuce too. Any excuse to tell mom you’re not eating the green stuff tonight. Since we are at it we might as well stay clear of Phil Goff, ethnically mixed schools, MP planking and of course Invercargill. Currently on 14 dead, more than 400 sick and counting. So any danger for NZ? Well all you need to do is stay away from Germany. But that is good advice any time. Our last tip to stay healthy … deep fry the shit out of everything.