Catholic menu to sexual acts

All over the world the Catholic Church is having to pay high amounts of compensation to victims of sexual abuse by priests, bishops and other wannabe popes. For them it was always a guys what the price of their acts would be. Until now. The church has come up with a sort of menu or catalog, including prices. We are not sure if the prices are with or without GST. So let’s have a look: €5,000 for violating someone’s integrity with sexual acts or utterances; €7,500 for touching intimate parts (read genitals, anus and breasts); €10-20,000 for a longer period of touching of intimate parts; 25,000 for single or repeated rape; 100,000 for exceptional cases such as gang rape, and very serious abuse with lasting damage, or in milder cases where financial loss is substantial proven. So this is how the Church will sort everything out. So don’t worry little kids. You can sleep again without any bad dreams about gangrapes behind the altar. Who cares if your self image is destroyed for the rest of your life. It’s nothing that can’t be fixed for the price of a new Subaru Legacy. So why is it that the Roman Catholic Church is the only institution that can decide for themselves how to deal with sexual predators? Can we get that privilege too? We will know what to do with those pervs. Something with a cross and nails maybe?

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Posted on June 21, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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