Weatheralarm! Hailballs of death
Fellow citizens it’s time to head for the underground shelters, board up your windows and stock up your reserves. The extended summer had to end sometime. From yesterday the country had to deal with gale force winds, tornadoes, snow, rain and hail the size of your fists. The forecast shows little change. So better prepare now instead of cry after the weekend. Store your supercool Mini Cooper in the garage. Be sure to check your rain boots and helmets. Sorry for all farmers. You’re fucked. Celebrations on the skislopes though. But let’s wait for the first avalanche. God be with us. See you on Monday. If we are still here.